It really hurts my feelings when people call me clumsy because I fall or loose my balance. It hurts because I have no control..I am physically handicapped from doing a lot of normal things because of my bad knees, ankles, hip flexors, fallen arches etc etc…
after my accident in november my body hasn’t been the same. sometimes I am unable to walk short distances or climb stairs. when i think i have made a lot of progress I am reminded by inshape/fit people at the gym/on the street running that I am not normal and can’t do things like squats, running, jogging, stairs..
It is very discouraging especially since I am in a dance heavy show. We work out before every rehearsal and I can’t keep up with the other girls. I feel like because I don’t look like I am physically handicapped (meaning, I have no visible sign of injury ((except the way I walk)) ) people think I have no stamina, am lazy, or am not committed.
or there are the people who laugh when I fall down randomly. it is not funny to have your knees buckle from underneath you. it is not funny to loose your balance and fall down an entire flight of stairs. it is disheartening, embarrassing, frustrating, dangerous and hurts me emotionally.
I am terrified I am going to be hurt for the rest of my life and noone will understand or care and I will be stuck in this trial and error with my body forever.
(side note, today physical therapy was good…then I fell down a flight of stairs..totally hurting the right side of my body now..I feel set back AGAIN and feel unenthusiastic about life)
I want someone to listen, someone to care and someone to treat me kindly. I am hurting a lot.
